Stop being a Bully!
We set up foundations to stop bullying; we admonish others who bully.....and yet, we are a Bullies too.
One of the first signs you are a victim of this specific form of bullying is when you feel as though you aren't good enough. Who told you this?....more than likely, it's YOU who is saying this to yourself. In your past, someone else may have told you this but it is YOU who continues the abuse. Please, apologize to yourself.
Put your foot down NOW and stop the bullying IMMEDIATELY!
I gain clarity and take control of my Bully by asking a few questions. Once I gain this clarity I'm free to stand strong and see right through the negative strike. The first question I ask myself is, "Are the expectations you're putting on yourself real? or...should they be adjusted?" The next question is, "Should you raise your self-esteem and stand more tall and sturdy?" More often than not the answer to these questions is, "Yes!"
When a negative thought comes into play I'll first ask my self the question, "Annamarie, are you comparing yourself to someone else?" When it comes to comparing ourselves to others, the quote by the great Zig Ziglar comes to mind. "You do not determine your success by comparing yourself to others. rather you determine your success by comparing your accomplishments to your capabilities."
The best way for us to improve our capabilities is not to measure our life against the life of someone else, but rather learn from others and share what we know "with" them. This process will benefit us two-fold. When we learn something new and improve on our capabilities, our self-esteem is increased; we grow strong.
Case in point. I read the writings of published authors and say to myself, "They are so good! As a writer I'm so far out of my element. I'm a speaker; I'm not a writer." I'm bullying myself with each comparison I make between myself and someone else. Instead I'll say, "I'm a speaker; I'm learning to become a writer." I look at "my own" capabilities and acknowledge my accomplishments. "I" can learn to improve and work with my capabilities.
What works for you?.... How do you stop the Bully?
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt